“It’s not him!”

IMG_0867-RTSoul Mates.  True Love.  What do you believe? 

On a cold night in 1996 I went clubbing with my then-husband, let’s call him ‘The Darkly Gifted Songwriter’, and some friends in downtown Minneapolis.  My husband was performing at a popular club that night…  

It happens that it was ‘Psychic Night’ at that club and my girlfriend wanted to get a reading in between music sets.  I was intrigued, but I didn’t know what to believe about such things.  I decided to watch carefully and keep my mouth shut.

When it was her turn, we ducked into a curtained corner, billowing with smoky incense, finding ourselves face-to-face with a little old lady who looked like a witch.  Classic.  On the table before her was a burning candle, a crystal ball and some cards with unfamiliar pictures on them. 

The witch started by accurately describing some very specific details about my friend’s life circumstances, which would not be obvious to a stranger.  I was somewhat shocked by the accuracy and specificity with which the witch described my friend’s current job and family life.  My friend asked about her love life.

The witch abruptly turned from my friend to me and said, “You… you are the one they want to talk to!”


“Me?”  I squirmed.  “I just came to watch.”

“It is about your True Love,” the witch whispered, reaching for my hand.

“Really?  What about it?” I asked nervously.

“I see him.  He is tall, dark and handsome,” she teased, stroking my hand.  I guessed she must have seen me earlier with my husband, who was tall and handsome, although not dark, except for his personality.

“My husband is 6’4” …” I offered.

“It’s not him!” she practically spat at me.  “This one is not that tall.  Almost six feet tall.  His name begins with a ‘K’ sound, like Kevin or … Ke- …. Ka- …. I can’t make it out … hmmm … You will not meet him for sometime … um-hmmm … you both have lessons to learn, before you can meet each other …”

“How will I meet him?” I asked.

“It’s looks like … hmmm … it’s not the phone, but something like the phone … hmmm …”

“When will we meet?”

“When the time is right.  Learn your lessons, so you’ll be ready.  That is all.  That is the message for you.”

After my divorce, I sometimes thought about that witch.  For a long time, when I’d hear someone call out, “Hey, Kevin! or “Keith” or “Carter”  I’d turn and look, and wonder.  But, then I forgot about it and I fell in love and married someone who’s name started with an ‘M’ sound.  Like, “Mmmmmm”.  And I learned more lessons about what does and doesn’t work in a relationship.  Mostly what doesn’t work.

Then, tonight I’m snuggling with Mr. C and watching the movie ‘Serendipity’, a love story about Soul Mates.  I remember the night club witch’s prophecy from long ago.  In my mind, I run through the check-list of her description of my True Love, noting a profound number of ‘synchronicities’ which apply to Mr. C including his name, appearance and the way we met.  I’ve enjoyed the gentle slopes of my relationship with Mr. C through the years we’ve been together and specifically we often comment on how we’ve grown as the result of lessons learned in past relationships, so we could each bring a better self to this relationship.  I feel a little misty.  And I wonder.  But, mostly I’m grateful for the amazing mystery of it all.

Do you believe in True Love?  What do you wonder?  What do you know?       


PS The Darkly Gifted Songwriter’s new wife has recently published the book: Soulmate Hunting After 40: The Mature Person’s Guide to Finding and Keeping Love and Happiness.  I have not read it, but I love to believe that True Love wins again!

68 thoughts on ““It’s not him!””

  1. A great post and how lovely for you that you found love again. You might be interested in knowing that my novel, A CRY FROM THE DEEP, coming out mid-October, is about the kind of love you talk about here. Psychics come into play in my story as well. I believe in everlasting love and finding love the second time around. I look forward to reading more of your blog.

    1. @Hi, Diana! ~

      Thank you for stopping by! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my very personal Love Story!

      I originally wrote and posted this piece about 3 years ago and I remember feeling like I was kind of going out on a limb because my relationship with Mr. C was only a few years old at the time. We are only more in love with each passing year — what a wonderful and mysterious gift!

      I’m intrigued by your description of your novel — I will definitely look forward to learning more!
      Dangerous Linda recently posted…holy-emotional-roller-coaster-ride, batman!My Profile

  2. Dear Dangerous n gorgeous Linda.Lovely romantic post.
    I personally believ in love. N you wrote it in such a lovelyfashion. Love to read your other post n pics. God bless u .

  3. Linda,

    Love your story. That is what I needed to hear. I am going through separation and ultimately (it looks like), divorce. I wish I had the witch to tell me I will meet someone, my soul mate, for I am in a very lonely place.

    Lessons have been full and plentiful, I could use a little gentleness in my life.

    BTW- one of my favorite movies is “Serendipity”.

    Blessings, Carrie

    1. @Dear Carrie,

      Been there, My Dear! I know how much it hurts! I also know there’s more to Life & Love than we see or understand in this secular reality. You also know this most of the time — I want to hold your hand and reassure you while you’re feeling a little shaky ;-*

      You know where to reach me if you need a soft place to land…

      Dangerous Linda recently posted…“It’s not him!”My Profile

  4. What a beautiful and inspiring love story! I love tarot cards, palm readings and horoscopes – but would never take any action based on a reading – other than purchasing a lotto ticket, of course!

    I believe in true love – I like how you describe it as “gentle slopes” – I think that’s exactly it! Not the cliffs and storms we see in the movies. I believe true love is humbling, we realize just how lucky we were to find the person and how little we could have done to make it happen/stop it from happening. There’s certainly something written in the stars about it…

    1. @Erin Maureen,

      Long time, no see! I wonder how the ‘professional date-maven’ is doing these days???

      Interesting to note you ‘love’ tarot cards and the like, but apparently you don’t actually believe in them? Since you wouldn’t take action based on them, what exactly do you love about them?

      Hope to catch up with you one day soon! XOXXO
      Dangerous Linda recently posted…“It’s not him!”My Profile

  5. Hi, Sarah-Jane! ~

    I’ve been incubating on your comment(s) ever since you posted. Thank you for sharing your ideas about True Love.

    I agree with you: “…the person who was your true love at 17 who is not your true love at 50 was never your true love? It didn’t last so therefore it’s not true? I don’t belive that.”

    In fact, this is one reason it took me so long to post this story after I conceived it. Obviously, I can’t foresee the future and I was concerned that if, for some reason, Mr. C and I should part ways then some people might believe the story was ruined. Not necessarily so. I am not attached to outcomes as much as I am interested in understanding Truth.

    My marriage to The Darkly Gifted Songwriter was an incredibly important relationship for me, not only in this lifetime but in an eternal sense. I loved him very much and I still love him. But, I’m also happy that I grew out of our romantic relationship, which was consistently devastatingly painful for me.

    I wonder if the concept of ‘True Love’, as my little ‘witch’ described it, refers to ‘true’ as meaning ‘virtuous, pure and unclouded’ rather than ‘correct, right, and real’. This feels like the proper contrast, in my experience, between my relationships with The Darkly Gifted Songwriter and Mr. C. My current relationship feels virtuous, pure and unclouded due in part to the learning I gained from my previous relationship which was correct, right and real for the time.

    Lastly, I would like to emphasize that I have more questions than answers on this subject. I am sharing my experience, not lecturing from a sense of expertise. If and when you have a chance to respond, I will enjoy taking in your reactions and conclusions.


  6. Hi, Chicky! —

    Thank you for the birthday blessing! It was GREAT!!

    Your description of soul mates pretty much matches my own. One of my important spiritual teachers once told me that anyone who is more than an acquaintance in this lifetime has probably traveled with me in a previous lifetime, thus making them my soul mate according to your description above. One thing I’m wondering is whether my ‘soul mate(s)’ is different than my ‘true love’? Or is that just semantics? I don’t know.

    I especially agree with this statement: “If we never see the dark, we won’t be able to really appreciate the light.”

    Thank you so much for stopping by and joining the conversation! Please come back soon!

  7. Hi, Jan! —

    Reading about your relationship with your husband makes me feel all mushy inside — I’m happy you are happy and in love

    You seem to understand where I’m coming from with this post and we maybe have some similar relationship experiences in common?

    This is such a beautiful sentiment which you expressed and what I’ve always wanted in an intimate relationship: “Our love has mellowed past the infatuation stage to a deep intensely honest affection for each other.”

    I have also had my birth chart created and translated for me which was very accurate. The most intriguing piece of all this for me is to realize that there is more to life than what is plain to see everyday …

    Thank you so much for stopping by to share your ideas and experiences — Best wishes for you and your sweet hubby!! XOXO

  8. Linda, its is strange that you mention JK’s quote. I worked in a JK school Rishi Valley (Some pictures in my blog are of the school ) for two years and they were the best two years of my life so far. Your reply brought a smile to my face.

    Hugs and much love

    Joy always,

  9. Linda, clearly I am a believer in true love, even if it’s in the moment. I am flattered to have found you, too. I started the year wondering who should I be as a blogger ( I know who I am as a writer) but I could not distinguish the two halves of me, so…. I figure some will enjoy reading, some will not. I do quite like the song, btw.

    1. @Hi, Brenda,

      How interesting to stumble across these ‘old’ comments after the fact! Look how long we’ve known each other already and how far we’ve come! Friendship is another type of ‘soul mate’ relationship which gets less press than romantic love, but is no less AMAZING!

      I’m happy to be on this journey with YOU! XOXOXOX

  10. Great post-love it! So Happy Belated Birthday lady. Mine is on Wednesday and I am hitting the big 50! What a story, I am also divorced a man- I had been married to for 23 years, he died 3 years after. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but at one time he was my true love, the one that the world turned for. He was the true love to who I was at the time.

    I swore I would never marry again. God brought me a gift and his name is Mark. No one would have ever guessed he was my type, not even me at one time, but if ever there was a prince, it is him! This man is the polar opposite of my first husband, and took on my baggage, my grown son’s mental illness ( he lives with us and he is the best father to him) and my other kids who didn’t want someone else in my life after their dad died. I guess as we grow and change, what is right for us changes also. I am turning 50 and happier than I have ever been. I am comfortable in my own skin (miracle for me)! and know what’s important and what’s not, finally. I hear what you say about it being so easy to love your man, it’s like that for me too, we are so blessed to have that. Sorry I am so wordy, love posts that get me thinking like this.

    1. @Hi, Kim! ~

      Love this: “He was the true love to who I was at the time.”

      The truth is, I believe The Darkly Gifted Songwriter is also my Soul Mate — just not the one I was meant to be with forever. I like to believe anyone who is more than an acquaintance in this lifetime is someone I have traveled with in a previous lifetime and came to this incarnation to see again for whatever needed to be healed, resolved, or enhanced between us.

      I’m grateful to have had that opportunity with my past love. Having said that, Easy Love is, as you say, SO MUCH EASIER (and more fun!)!!!

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your beautiful love story too!
      Dangerous Linda recently posted…“It’s not him!”My Profile

  11. Hi, Lynne! —

    Your comment brings this quote to mind: “Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.” – Diane Ackerman

    Intellectually I agree with much of your premise that: “…all relationships have the potential for true love but it is necessary to grow and nurture the relationship.”

    Ironically, it was when I finally gave up expecting myself to love and accept the other unconditionally that I became free to discover someone who is so easy to love and be happy with. I’ve heard, and believed, all my life that relationships take hard work, and now I wonder if that was a lie!

    When I say True Love, in this context, I’m talking about an individual rather than a feeling toward an individual. I don’t love Mr. C more than my previous lovers. But, it’s so easy to love him and be happy with him, I never knew a relationship could feel this good over the years! Therefore, fake love is not the opposite of True Love, but, I’m not sure what is …

    We are living in the question, you & I — thank you for playing along

  12. @Portia: I bet if I look up the word ‘poetic’ in the dictionary I’ll find a picture of YOU! Everything you say sounds like a love poem. Holding you in my heart as you wait. XO

    @Sulekha: How wonderful for you that your hubby spoils and adores you like crazy!! The way you describe your relationship makes me feel mushy — everyone loves lovers in love, right?

    Thank you for the Happy Birthday & Blogiversary Wishes!!

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