(Originally published February 22, 2011)
I’m feeling annoyed with a friend of mine who inadvertently hooked me on one of my more agitating pet peeves over the weekend.
I’m also feeling annoyed with myself because another one of my pet peeves is people who try to control other people instead of just letting them be who they are. Like I’m doing by thinking my friend should behave differently than she does.
What did my friend do to set me off? She was imploring a group of us to have more appreciation for school teachers because, “Somewhere in your neighborhood tonight a teacher is grading and preparing lessons to teach your children while you are watching television.” Couldn’t she make the same plea on behalf of teachers and just leave out the part about the parents watching T.V.? Why does she have to imply that parents are “bad, lazy, t.v. watchers” for the teachers to be “good, hard-working, heroes”?
Then, I make matters worse by relegating my friend, in my imagination, to the role of spiritual dilettante for her faux pas in expressing gratitude and subsequent lack of personal reflection when I questioned her about it. That makes me “one-up” from her, right? Because my communication skills are so sophisticated compared with hers — my ego thinks so!
Now, I’m laughing because this morning I stumbled on this website:
The Web’s Largest List of Pet Peeves
Here are a couple examples from a list of over 500 things that annoy the author:
People who don’t know the difference between its/it’s and they’re /their/there.
People that interrupt you when your telling a story and then they continue to tell you their story and then ask you in an uninterested tone to continue on with your story when they are finished talking.
How about people who don’t know the difference between your/you’re after complaining about people who don’t know the difference between its/it’s? haha!
Anyway, that long list of complaints and negativity was over the top! I wondered who would take the time to write all those down? Who would sit there and read them all? I only made it through, maybe, the first twenty before I was exhausted.
Why do we constantly feel compelled to play the one-up game? Why do we think putting someone else down will make us feel better about ourselves? How many insidious ways can we find to put one person down to raise someone else up (usually ourselves) while camouflaging our comparisons — couching them as expressions of gratitude, concern or even back-handed compliments?
Does one-upmanship ever make us feel better? I think this game actually contributes to a sort of free floating, pervasive feeling of guilt and fear in all players.
In a way, reading The World’s Largest List of Pet Peeves brought my simmering tea kettle of anxiety to a full, rolling, boil. The pressure builds … wheeEEEEEE!! And like a puff of steam my anxiety dissipates into the air.
Now, I’m ready to enjoy a nice, hot cup of tea and watch Gene Kelly singing and splashing around in the rain at the Magic Movie Clips library …
Ah, that feels seriously better!
February 22nd, 2011 - 2:42 pm
I think I’m going to go watch TV. I did last night, so…
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 15th, 2013 at 11:13 pm
@Clarence,
XOXOXOXOXOX
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January 15th, 2013 - 10:54 pm
My pet peeve is when parents don’t watch their kid’s obnoxious behavior at the playground and then they end up bullying other children and it becomes awkward. You don’t want to correct another person’s child…but then you also don’t want to ask the parent to watch their kids for fear of offending them.
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 15th, 2013 at 11:21 pm
@Jessica,
It’s interesting that you state the following as if it were a universal truth: “You don’t want to correct another person’s child…”
I wouldn’t think twice about talking to another person’s child who is misbehaving — especially if it involves my kids getting bullied. But, really, I’d do it under virtually any circumstances.
Why do you think you feel so shy about it?
Thank you for stopping by! I miss our chats! XOXOXO
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January 15th, 2013 - 11:01 pm
An educated person, especially one in the education field, should know better than to make such an uneducated statement. And on that note I won’t be grading papers because I don’t believe in grading and will choose to sit here and watch a telenovela while folding laundry.
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 18th, 2013 at 7:21 pm
@InJensMind,
You crack me up and I love you…
…not necessarily in that order!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO
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January 16th, 2013 - 11:19 pm
I get really peeved at people who just refuse to see a solution for what it is and see a problem even in the solution. An oh yeah high-handedness of course, and definitely the there their and they’re thingy all get into my nerves! Hey wait for my kettle to whistle before you go and sip your tea please : ))
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 18th, 2013 at 7:26 pm
@Kriti,
Thank you for coming to my tea party
Sharp, Charming and Engaging = The perfect guest! Wonderful YOU!
Did you check out the Magic Movie Clips Library? http://www.dangerouslinda.com/test-movie-pill-dispensery
I would LOVE to have your suggestions for movies!
Please come back soon! XOXO
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January 17th, 2013 - 6:27 am
I too get peeved sometimes but just move out of the way. who am I to judge others?
-Portia
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 20th, 2013 at 12:43 am
@Portia Burton,
You are so sweet! Even in a peeved state I’m sure you are quite adorable — Thank you for stopping by to say “Hi!” Hope your Mama’s feeling better ;-*
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January 17th, 2013 - 12:14 pm
Linda – Ha! Great post.
We all have pet peeves…some of us act out or vocalize them…some of us don’t. In the end I don’t know that vocalizing is any healthier than repressing. It is still negative energy.
One-upsmanship – that is a curiosity to me. When it comes to Edison V. Tesla…perhaps, but otherwise I think we should live our lives to improve…more than be better than…
Myself, I don’t need to be better, bigger or more popular than “X”; I need to be the best me.
To me, finding the few individuals that we have a better story than is less important that learning from the multitudes of people we couldn’t hold a candle to.
My humble opinion.
Be well,
Ron
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 27th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
@Hi, Ron,
I’m intrigued by this statement: “In the end I don’t know that vocalizing is any healthier than repressing. It is still negative energy.”
I always say, “If I keep a tidy mind then I don’t have to worry about controlling my mouth.” Meaning that if I think negative thoughts but don’t verbalize them, I am still doing the same damage, maybe even more, since I become dishonest, in addition to the negativity, once I start repressing.
On the other hand, I have noticed that when I’m in a growth phase I will sometimes catch myself right after I say something negative that I might wish I hadn’t said. Then, next time a similar situation arises, I catch myself just BEFORE I was about to say something like that, which I might regret, and I stop myself or rephrase my comment. Eventually, a similar situation might arise and I realize much later that it didn’t hook me at all and I glided right past it without having the rude thought or saying anything negative about it at all!
I’m in favor of growing into a better communicator by observing my thoughts and words, as well as the results they bring me. I see no good that comes of continuing to think negative thoughts but attempting to censor them by not saying them
What would we do with a better, bigger or more popular Ron Reed? I’m madly in love with you just the way you are! XOXOXOXOX
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January 18th, 2013 - 7:05 pm
“petty peeves” love it… I have a few myself! Great post… “Does one-upmanship ever make us feel better? I think this game actually contributes to a sort of free floating, pervasive feeling of guilt and fear in all players.” yes, I believe it does and I needed the reminder. I do this sometimes, not often, but when I do it is usually with people I care about the most –thank you for sharing I so needed to read this; the timing perfect!
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Dangerous Linda Reply:
January 27th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
@Amy @mommetime,
Hey, Beautiful! So nice to see you here!
I love the synchronicity which often flies between us — Glad you were able to grab something timely and useful from my manic musings
Come back soon! XOXOXOXOX
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January 21st, 2013 - 9:41 am
I try with all my might not to get sucked in by the peeves of the world. Do I have some? Damn straight, but they are not worth turning my bright into dark. So when I catch myself slipping over the edge I hold on. Sadly, I am human and don’t always walk the fine line, but at least I try. As for one-upmanship.. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I learned (probably in Sister’ Mary’s bible class) that trying to out the next person all the time eventually diminishes what you have truly accomplished. I think this in the one area of my life where I am truly humble. Whatever Sister said all those years ago stuck. Now, I am going to have a cup of tea.
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January 21st, 2013 - 12:35 pm
—Oh, Linda,
I agree w/ you on some of your pet peeves.
You’re (just kiiiiiidding) teacher friend is quite judgemental about parents.
Now, will you excuse me while I go watch American Idol! Xx
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February 2nd, 2013 - 5:50 pm
Oh Linda love… you make me laugh… It’s like listening to a wonderful child I love how you express yourself…
Well, I think it’s okay to be annoyed at times lol… I do when guys tell me ‘Welcome to the real world…’ It makes me ask in which world I’m living in…lol…
SO what do you do with your pet peeves?
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